Famima! (Asian 7-11!)

So, apparently the same bozos who were in charge of putting Starbucks on the corner of every block in the US, have been hired on to spread the "disease" known as Famima!. Oh you hip urban trendsetters and your steamy buns and Men's Pokey. Wtf is Men's pokey you ask? Good fucking question! Look at how many Famima!s these assholes have put in downtown LA. I mean come on, there are multiple ones on the same damn city block! We get it. You are Asian. You are convenient. Guess what. You are also a coward!

Technology

Meet the Dell Dimension 3000. If this is the technology of the year 3000, well, we're all fucked. Damn you Dimension 3000 for feeling the need to freeze on me several times throughout every single day. Computers who can't perform more than two tasks at the same time are cowards. Dude, you got a Coward!

The Myth, The Legend, The Coward!

Damn you Sam's Town patron for having the most amazing hair ever. How am I ever to compete with such a fantastic mullet? Look at that beauty basking in the neon glow of Sbarros! Then to add insult to injury, he is also sporting one of the most white trash mustaches I have ever laid eyes on. You are a legend buddy, but because you don't give anyone a chance to match you in the looks the dept, you are also a coward!

Pete Wentz

The picture says it all.

Go Figure

Leave it up to the FRENCH to get attacked by a poodle. I have said it before and I will say it again. The French are lazy, useless, no good cowards. If you weren't already over there, I would tell you to go back to France you coward. Nice job training your dog Chirac.

Are you down with the sickness?

Damn you Laryngitis! I can't even go up to you and call you a coward. You have taken my voice, and that is one of the most cowardly things you could do. Yeah I get it, I was in Las Vegas, I yelled a ton, I drank even more, and every old person on the face of the earth was sitting around me smoking, but do you need to come in and take advantage of the situation. I am not down with the sickness brohaim, so get outta here!

Las Vegas Coward

Carl "Safe-Sax" Ferris, if thats your real name, you are a coward. Safe Sax? Nice play on words you idiot. Guess what, there can only be one Highlander, and it's not you! As I stumble down Fremont St, drunk as a skunk, the last thing I want to hear is your retarded, lame attempt to be Kenny G, sax music. Get a real job you bum.